"Life is all about the choices we make"
So said a very smart person. ( I don't know who, but have heard it from a smart person for sure!)
So, there, I was a girl of the 2st century, so I went decided to be "someone" before I became a "mrs.someone". I went on to finish my engineering, and get a masters, and at that point, it looked like getting a nice job in the US, and that too, Silicon valley, would be IT!
hmm.. Little did I know,growing up, that these "choice" making powers would come haunt my thoughts so much! It's always "damned if u do, and damned if u don't!"
If you buy a house, then you are opening yourself to liabilities,more stress,etc. If you don't, then you are not thinking enough about the future,wasting money on rent,especially if you live in a high rent area like we do,and are not on the road to early retirement.
If you live in a place like NYC or the silicon valley, then you are paying through every orifice for rent, taxes,living costs,etc. If you decide to move to a cheaper city, then you feel that you will miss out on all the stuff that the big-city lifestyle has to offer.
If you work for a big company, you miss out on the learning opportunity that a start-up has to offer,if you go work for a startup, then you miss out on the fact that in a big company, you have more resources and experienced people who will have the time to sit down and help you learn and grow!
If you have kids in your early 20's, then you are not career-minded enough,and you have not enjoyed your life enough to have kids and take on more responsibility. If you wait till you reach the big 3-0, then you risk all kinds of problems for yourself and the kids.
Once the thought of kids come into the picture, if you decide to stay home when the baby is small, then you are not super-woman enough, you don't have the capacity to balance everything life has to offer. If you go to work, you are hard-nosed and always put yourself before your kids.
Since I am one of those lucky Indians who come from HUGE families with aunts,uncles,cousins,and (cousins' children too) galore,and also have a variety of friends,I am exposed to people of all ages and ideologies.
Increasingly, I find that each person wished they were in someone else's shoes, while their own looks very uncomfortable!!
What is it with us???? What choices are right and what are wrong???
On the other hand, if I figured this out, then Maybe, I can write that Best Seller and retire, eh?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Weekend Getaway!
Me:"let's go somewhere,away from home, I need a break!"
S: "Sure, plan something!"
Wanting to go closer to nature, we picked the grand canyons and majestic sequoia trees - the King's Canyon and Sequoia National park.
We left Friday night, stayed in Fresno for a night,since this was an hour away from the park, and reached King's Canyon early Saturday morning. Our first stop was the Grant Grove Village.In Grant Grove Village, three miles (5km) east from the Big Stump park entrance on Highway 180. In the conifer zone; elevation 6500 feet (1980m). It hosts the General Grant's tree, the third largest tree in the world. There was also a fallen tree which had a hole cut out through it's trunk, and it was great fun as we walked through it!
After spending some time walking amidst the towering redwood trees, we were off to the Cedar Grove area. The drive from the Grant grove village to the Cedar Grove was a twisty-turny-windy one,with spectacular views and amazing hikes all along the way. One hike of particular interest was the Roaring Falls hike,which took us on a shaded,paved road to a short water fall, nestled amongst rocks!
Our first stop at Cedar Grove was the Zumwalt Meadow hike. It is an easy 2-3 mile hike with pretty flowing rivers,sprawling meadows bursting with colored grass ( maybe fall?) nestled at the foothills of tall towering marble mountain peaks with their blue-grey designed walls offers a picture-postcard like appeal.
On the drive back to the Grant grove area,we stopped at the Grizzly falls, it falls from almost a height of a 3
story building..
One of the best stops of this trip was the Boyden Caves. It is a live,growing,limestone cave. The various limestone formations were accented well with colored lighting( and the wires were well hidden as well!),besides the usual stalactites,stalagmites and drapery like formations, there were some forms which,with some imagination, resembled food like layered cakes,pancakes with butter dripping,layered lasagna,and such!!!
After spending a few hours caving,we drove south to Montecito Lodge,our stop for the night. Nestled in the middle of the Sequoia forest,besides a small private lake, the resort is surrounded by the grandeur of Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks. Set against the breathtaking backdrop of the Great Western Divide,and also located almost midway between the Kings canyon and Sequoia parks, it seemed like a very convenient location to enjoy both parks.
As soon as we peeked into our cabin,my reaction was " Wow! Look at that lovely lake and the mountains! This is so beautiful" S's reaction " yeah honey,but where 's the TV??" Gasp! that place did not have a TV! Yah!!!
Since this resort includes meals as part of their cabins rentals,we were greeted to a hot buffet dinner,which besides the usual salads and soup,also had a yummy veggie lasagna as a hot entree.. And ofcourse,with only our nutrition in mind, the dessert station had dark chocolate covered strawberries,the most fluffy white cake with dripping icing,and a jelly!!!
The dining hall was huge with 2 fireplaces,comfortable couches all around,a well-stocked bookshelf,a game closet with crossword puzzles,scrabble, and other board games. There was also a TV with some kids' movies playing to that the parents could kick back and relax while the kids dozed off in front of the TV.. S was secretly hoping that he could scare away the kids so he could watch some football!!
The next day, a hearty breakfast of pancakes,scrambled eggs,toast and coffee hit the right spot as we drove to explore the Sequoia National Park(SNP) area.Due to a forest fire, we were unable to explore the tulomne meadows area :( Well,next time? anyone?:)
Our first stop at SNP was the Giant Tree area. This hosts the General Sherman's tree, supposed to be the world's largest tree,volume-wise. This area boasted of some truly massive,giant sequoia trees, the combination of weather and soil conditions makes it perfect to support the growth of the redwoon trees in California. We did the lovely congress trail loop, a 3-4 mile loop which took us to the heart of the sequoia groves!! The fresh air,cool,mistly chill that redwoods always seem to emit,and the solitude of the place with the summer crowds all gone, made it a very fun hike indeed!!
FUN FACT: Many of these redwood trees are a few thousand years old!! Nothing like being amidst these trees when you're feeling either old or fat or both!
Totally refreshed by this hike, we went to conquer the Moro rock hike,which took 400 steps and ft elevation,rewarding us with a panoramic view of the high Sierra and canyons.
After a few more small hikes,we decided to head back home,the drive along Central California took us through of fruit orchards and farms, we stopped at one of the many farmer's stands to buy some produce back home. One interesting thing we saw was a oni-lic!( Onion + garlic),which was an onion looking thing with a pod of garlic grown along side!
Its amazing how all it takes to love "home" is to just be away from it for a few days,isnt it?
More travel tales to follow!!
Till, then - Hasta La Vista!
FUN FACT: Redwoods are very resilient to forest fires because of high water content in their trunk!
S: "Sure, plan something!"
Wanting to go closer to nature, we picked the grand canyons and majestic sequoia trees - the King's Canyon and Sequoia National park.
We left Friday night, stayed in Fresno for a night,since this was an hour away from the park, and reached King's Canyon early Saturday morning. Our first stop was the Grant Grove Village.In Grant Grove Village, three miles (5km) east from the Big Stump park entrance on Highway 180. In the conifer zone; elevation 6500 feet (1980m). It hosts the General Grant's tree, the third largest tree in the world. There was also a fallen tree which had a hole cut out through it's trunk, and it was great fun as we walked through it!
After spending some time walking amidst the towering redwood trees, we were off to the Cedar Grove area. The drive from the Grant grove village to the Cedar Grove was a twisty-turny-windy one,with spectacular views and amazing hikes all along the way. One hike of particular interest was the Roaring Falls hike,which took us on a shaded,paved road to a short water fall, nestled amongst rocks!
Our first stop at Cedar Grove was the Zumwalt Meadow hike. It is an easy 2-3 mile hike with pretty flowing rivers,sprawling meadows bursting with colored grass ( maybe fall?) nestled at the foothills of tall towering marble mountain peaks with their blue-grey designed walls offers a picture-postcard like appeal.
On the drive back to the Grant grove area,we stopped at the Grizzly falls, it falls from almost a height of a 3
story building..One of the best stops of this trip was the Boyden Caves. It is a live,growing,limestone cave. The various limestone formations were accented well with colored lighting( and the wires were well hidden as well!),besides the usual stalactites,stalagmites and drapery like formations, there were some forms which,with some imagination, resembled food like layered cakes,pancakes with butter dripping,layered lasagna,and such!!!
After spending a few hours caving,we drove south to Montecito Lodge,our stop for the night. Nestled in the middle of the Sequoia forest,besides a small private lake, the resort is surrounded by the grandeur of Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Parks. Set against the breathtaking backdrop of the Great Western Divide,and also located almost midway between the Kings canyon and Sequoia parks, it seemed like a very convenient location to enjoy both parks.
As soon as we peeked into our cabin,my reaction was " Wow! Look at that lovely lake and the mountains! This is so beautiful" S's reaction " yeah honey,but where 's the TV??" Gasp! that place did not have a TV! Yah!!!
Since this resort includes meals as part of their cabins rentals,we were greeted to a hot buffet dinner,which besides the usual salads and soup,also had a yummy veggie lasagna as a hot entree.. And ofcourse,with only our nutrition in mind, the dessert station had dark chocolate covered strawberries,the most fluffy white cake with dripping icing,and a jelly!!!
The dining hall was huge with 2 fireplaces,comfortable couches all around,a well-stocked bookshelf,a game closet with crossword puzzles,scrabble, and other board games. There was also a TV with some kids' movies playing to that the parents could kick back and relax while the kids dozed off in front of the TV.. S was secretly hoping that he could scare away the kids so he could watch some football!!
The next day, a hearty breakfast of pancakes,scrambled eggs,toast and coffee hit the right spot as we drove to explore the Sequoia National Park(SNP) area.Due to a forest fire, we were unable to explore the tulomne meadows area :( Well,next time? anyone?:)
Our first stop at SNP was the Giant Tree area. This hosts the General Sherman's tree, supposed to be the world's largest tree,volume-wise. This area boasted of some truly massive,giant sequoia trees, the combination of weather and soil conditions makes it perfect to support the growth of the redwoon trees in California. We did the lovely congress trail loop, a 3-4 mile loop which took us to the heart of the sequoia groves!! The fresh air,cool,mistly chill that redwoods always seem to emit,and the solitude of the place with the summer crowds all gone, made it a very fun hike indeed!!
FUN FACT: Many of these redwood trees are a few thousand years old!! Nothing like being amidst these trees when you're feeling either old or fat or both!
Totally refreshed by this hike, we went to conquer the Moro rock hike,which took 400 steps and ft elevation,rewarding us with a panoramic view of the high Sierra and canyons.
After a few more small hikes,we decided to head back home,the drive along Central California took us through of fruit orchards and farms, we stopped at one of the many farmer's stands to buy some produce back home. One interesting thing we saw was a oni-lic!( Onion + garlic),which was an onion looking thing with a pod of garlic grown along side!
Its amazing how all it takes to love "home" is to just be away from it for a few days,isnt it?
More travel tales to follow!!
Till, then - Hasta La Vista!
FUN FACT: Redwoods are very resilient to forest fires because of high water content in their trunk!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pant Suits!!
In recent times, I am seeing more and more information for women in the corporate world - how to manage themselves successfully at work, and achieve that delicate balance between work and life! Thanks to the internet explosion, it has become easier than ever to share such information.
I got in an this email at work,and wanted to post it here,interesting read..
Nora Denzel, the SVP of Intuit Payroll Services Division, spoke
in Mountain View on the topic of/ The Top Ten Ways Women Shoot
Themselves in the Foot in the Workplace/.
I think her advice is good for women and men alike, and offers insights
I wish someone had shared with me when I was starting out in my career.
Nora conveyed her advice with great humor, which made the truth she told
about the mistakes women tend to make easier to hear and accept.
*1. We don't control our own PR.* / Remember that every interaction
with an exec at your company IS judged. Hallway conversations as well
as prepared presentations. Women seem to have a genetic tic that makes
them tell the //_whole_// truth, whereas men are comfortable with
allowing others to draw the wrong conclusion and not correcting it if it
is to their benefit. She suggested that women learn to accept a
compliment (even if falsely deserved) with "Thank you," and then stop./
*2. We don't aim high; have a goal.* /Don't make the mistake of
thinking that you need to have a plan to get there before you declare
your goal. When you tell people your goal, they will help you build
your plan. By telling others what your end career goal is, not just
your next step, it will help others know how to help you. Stating your
goal can get you on the short list - if it is not the right time or the
right role you can say "no", but if you're not on the list you don't get
to decide anything./
*3. We don't know how to lighten up and separate.* / We need to realize
that people at work are playing a role, i.e., just because the finance
VP is saying "no" to your proposal doesn't mean they hate you. Learn
not to be so easily offended when someone asks you if you have a sewing
kit, or to get some food for everyone - just say no and move on. When
you go home at the end of the day, "separate" from the business
decisions that may have occurred./
*4. We don't ask.* / Jobs aren't all posted. Women tend to assume that
there is always a sign-up list somewhere for growth opportunities. We
need to learn to create opportunities. Early in her career, she asked a
VP at her company if she could shadow him for a week. She said the
lessons were invaluable, as her self-selected mentor also made the time
to tell her why he was doing things in addition to letting her see what
happened in his work. Don't think it isn't fair that there isn't always
a sign up list. Use it to your advantage./
*5. We act like we want to be Miss Congeniality more than Miss
America.* / We need to keep our focus on achieving our goal rather than
being the nicest. Also, don't be cowed by the aggressiveness of others;
men especially may try to use aggression to get their way if you let
them. Don't have guilt in saying no if it won't help you achieve your
goal. It is okay to conform to the norms of your work environment so
long as once you are in power you work to change them to what you think
is right./
*6. We don't know how to "act as if."* / Don't let it show that
you feel unqualified or in over your head./
*7. We don't feel comfortable being uncomfortable.* / We need to accept
that learning new stuff hurts a little, just as we get sore muscles when
we do a new exercise routine. Accept that being the dumbest one in the
room just means you have the most to learn from others. If you feel
really bad in a new situation, set a timeline for yourself, e.g. 6
months, to endure it and see if it gets better. If you are too
comfortable, take that as a sign it is a time for change. But also,
know your own situation. If you have other things going on in your
personal life that are challenging (good and bad), you may choose not to
add more challenge at work./
*8. We don't embrace criticism.* / Learn to take feedback, which is
criticism by another name, as a gift. It is like getting answers to the
test. Denying the criticism does not make it untrue. If it is really
wrong criticism, wait 48 hours, then go and state your points and ask
for help./
*9. We don't realize that we can make our own rules.* / Make sure to
pick your fights well when you want to break the rules. For example,
fighting for higher than allotted pay raises for high-performing
employees rather than fighting to get a designated parking space./
*10. We often forget that we are judged on results, not on how hard we
work.* / Yes, how you do your job is important too, but first you must
deliver results. Don't act as if obstacles were unexpected - there will
always be obstacles. Budgets get cut, competitors surprise you, the
economy tanks - that does not take away the need to achieve the results
you agreed to./
I got in an this email at work,and wanted to post it here,interesting read..
Nora Denzel, the SVP of Intuit Payroll Services Division, spoke
in Mountain View on the topic of/ The Top Ten Ways Women Shoot
Themselves in the Foot in the Workplace/.
I think her advice is good for women and men alike, and offers insights
I wish someone had shared with me when I was starting out in my career.
Nora conveyed her advice with great humor, which made the truth she told
about the mistakes women tend to make easier to hear and accept.
*1. We don't control our own PR.* / Remember that every interaction
with an exec at your company IS judged. Hallway conversations as well
as prepared presentations. Women seem to have a genetic tic that makes
them tell the //_whole_// truth, whereas men are comfortable with
allowing others to draw the wrong conclusion and not correcting it if it
is to their benefit. She suggested that women learn to accept a
compliment (even if falsely deserved) with "Thank you," and then stop./
*2. We don't aim high; have a goal.* /Don't make the mistake of
thinking that you need to have a plan to get there before you declare
your goal. When you tell people your goal, they will help you build
your plan. By telling others what your end career goal is, not just
your next step, it will help others know how to help you. Stating your
goal can get you on the short list - if it is not the right time or the
right role you can say "no", but if you're not on the list you don't get
to decide anything./
*3. We don't know how to lighten up and separate.* / We need to realize
that people at work are playing a role, i.e., just because the finance
VP is saying "no" to your proposal doesn't mean they hate you. Learn
not to be so easily offended when someone asks you if you have a sewing
kit, or to get some food for everyone - just say no and move on. When
you go home at the end of the day, "separate" from the business
decisions that may have occurred./
*4. We don't ask.* / Jobs aren't all posted. Women tend to assume that
there is always a sign-up list somewhere for growth opportunities. We
need to learn to create opportunities. Early in her career, she asked a
VP at her company if she could shadow him for a week. She said the
lessons were invaluable, as her self-selected mentor also made the time
to tell her why he was doing things in addition to letting her see what
happened in his work. Don't think it isn't fair that there isn't always
a sign up list. Use it to your advantage./
*5. We act like we want to be Miss Congeniality more than Miss
America.* / We need to keep our focus on achieving our goal rather than
being the nicest. Also, don't be cowed by the aggressiveness of others;
men especially may try to use aggression to get their way if you let
them. Don't have guilt in saying no if it won't help you achieve your
goal. It is okay to conform to the norms of your work environment so
long as once you are in power you work to change them to what you think
is right./
*6. We don't know how to "act as if."* / Don't let it show that
you feel unqualified or in over your head./
*7. We don't feel comfortable being uncomfortable.* / We need to accept
that learning new stuff hurts a little, just as we get sore muscles when
we do a new exercise routine. Accept that being the dumbest one in the
room just means you have the most to learn from others. If you feel
really bad in a new situation, set a timeline for yourself, e.g. 6
months, to endure it and see if it gets better. If you are too
comfortable, take that as a sign it is a time for change. But also,
know your own situation. If you have other things going on in your
personal life that are challenging (good and bad), you may choose not to
add more challenge at work./
*8. We don't embrace criticism.* / Learn to take feedback, which is
criticism by another name, as a gift. It is like getting answers to the
test. Denying the criticism does not make it untrue. If it is really
wrong criticism, wait 48 hours, then go and state your points and ask
for help./
*9. We don't realize that we can make our own rules.* / Make sure to
pick your fights well when you want to break the rules. For example,
fighting for higher than allotted pay raises for high-performing
employees rather than fighting to get a designated parking space./
*10. We often forget that we are judged on results, not on how hard we
work.* / Yes, how you do your job is important too, but first you must
deliver results. Don't act as if obstacles were unexpected - there will
always be obstacles. Budgets get cut, competitors surprise you, the
economy tanks - that does not take away the need to achieve the results
you agreed to./
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